Calligram and Letter

 Dear 40 year old Amanda, 

How's it hangin? Are we doing ok? Totally honest, (and I’m sure you remember this) but I’m not really sure where I’m at in life right now so I don't totally know what to ask or talk about. Here are some things I hope for us though:

I hope we end up working in the film industry.

I hope we ended up in a movie at some point.

I hope we don't have kids.

I hope we are still taking care of mom and dad.

I hope we were able to keep the promises we made to ourselves. 

I hope Shannon, Annika, Raychel and the California friends stuck around.

I hope we still talk to all of our Utah friends too.

I hope we figured out a way to live off doing the things we love. 

I hope Emily is happy and healthy (right now she’s with Adam and I hope that sticks around too)

But most importantly, I hope you’re happy.

I wish you could tell me where to go, what to do, how to go about life. I feel like there are so many things happening in life but none of them are bringing me closer to where I think I want to be in life. I suppose that’s the curse of time though, you have all the knowledge and no way of helping me with it. Well, maybe there is if time travel is a thing for you (I doubt it)… If it is a thing, and you didn’t come back here and help me though, I’m going to be pissed at you… me… us. I really don't know what tense to write this in.  Anyways, I guess to wrap things up I’ll just end with a quote? That seems like the poetic thing to do…

“If your nerve deny you, go above your nerve.”   - Emily Dickinson 

Much love,

20 year old Amanda

After moving to Florida in May of 2022, I needed a job. I was in between semesters and transferring away from Southern Utah, unsure of where life was trying to take me. Long story short, I ended up working as a gator handler at Gator Beach: The World's Greatest Alligator Park. Learning everything there was to know about alligators became my life for months as I spent hours every day in close proximity with them. They quickly became my favorite animal and performing informational and feeding shows, as well as tours, helped me to be more comfortable with public speaking and being in front of an audience. The alligators I worked with helped me in so many ways so it felt very fitting to use them as inspiration for this assignment.